Camila Cabello is opening up about her ongoing struggles with body image following a painful experience with the paparazzi at a beach club in Miami. On April 2, the singer shared a lengthy message on Instagram about a recurring pattern of events involving paparazzi that culminated in her running away to hide from the cameras.

“Every time I’ve gone to this beach club in Miami, I get papped — somehow when I check in paps no and get me in my bikini, and every time I’ve felt super vulnerable and unprepared — I’ve worn bikinis that were so too small and paid no mind to how I looked, then saw pictures online and comments and been so upset,” she began. “I reminded myself when it impacted my self-esteem, that I was thinking the culture’s thoughts and not my own. A culture who has gotten so used to an image of what a ‘healthy’ woman’s body looks like that is completely not real for a lot of women.”

She continued, “Photoshop, restrictive eating, over-exercising, and choosing angles that make our bodies look different than how they are in the moment and in their natural form, when we take a deep breath, when we eat a meal, when we allow the waves to tussles around. I remind myself of this, listen to podcasts on intuitive eating, follow women who accepted their cellulite, stretch marks, bellies, bloating, and weight fluctuations… and still. I’m a single woman in her 20s In the middle of a shit ton of promo and I want to feel like I look good.”

In the rest of the post, Camila Cabello explained that she returned to the club on April 2 with the intention of looking good in the paparazzi photos, but found that she’s “never had a worst time at the beach” than when she spent the day fixating on her appearance.

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